Category Archives: Positive Mindset

Teach Your Child How To Set A Goal for 2018

The beginning of a New Year is an opportune time to teach your child how to set a goal as well as to discuss the wonderful feeling of achieving one’s goal. The ability to set a goal for oneself is an important skill.

Try explaining goal setting as simply as possible. For example, “setting a goal for yourself is choosing something that you want to accomplish and then taking the steps to make it happen.” A phrase to keep in mind is, “If it’s to be, it’s up to me!”  Explain that a person is in charge of achieving his or her goals, and that while a person can ask for, and receive help and support, ultimately it is one’s own responsibility.

Fun Facts:

  • 90% of successful people set goals.
  • By setting goals, a person chooses where they will go in life.
  • By setting a goal, a person can achieve more, improve performance, increase self-esteem, and increase self confidence.
  • By setting a goal, a person can feel less stress, concentrate better and feel happier!

Basic Steps to Goal Setting:  Be S.M.A.R.T., make your goal Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time Bound.

Specific:  Define what is important to you; what do you want to accomplish? Decide exactly what you want your goal to be. For example, instead of “get better grades” the goal should be stated as, “I will earn a B or better in math.”  Instead of “make more friends” the goal should be stated as, “I will invite someone new over to my house to play.”

Measurable: Include precise amounts or dates so you know when you have met your goal. For example, “I will complete my math homework every day” or “I will invite a new friend over to play once a month.”

Attainable: Give your goal some real thought. Is it YOUR goal or really your parents? Is it actually possible or too far out of reach? For example, “I will get a part that I enjoy in the school play” may be more attainable then, “I will be the lead in the school play.”

Relevant: Your goal must further you in the direction you want to go in. Review your goal once a month and determine if it is still important to you. Talk about your goal with a parent or teacher. If the goal is no longer of interest, feel free to change it!

Time-Bound: A deadline is essential so you know when to celebrate your success! It feels so great to achieve a goal so choose an end time that is realistic. For example, “I will complete my math homework every day for four weeks.”

And of course the best part of goal setting: choose a reward for when the goal is met. 🙂Talk with your child about celebrating the achievement of meeting a goal. Have your child take the time to enjoy the feeling of satisfaction of a job well done. Tell your child they deserve a reward! And if they didn’t achieve the goal, take the time to reflect on what happened. Was the goal unrealistic? Did your child try his or her best? And remember, a goal can always be adjusted the goal and a person can always try again!

Goal setting is empowering because it provides a focus and a true sense of accomplishment when the goal is met.  Teaching your child to set a realistic goal is giving the gift of knowing how dreams can become a reality.

If you would like to talk about ways to teach your child to set a goal, or any other parenting question, please give me a call at 310-849-6751 or send me an email at jerirochman.jd.ms@gmail.com. Lets talk!

I look forward to talking with you!                                                                                                                     All my best,                                                                                                                                                                       Jeri

 

 

Practice Increasing The Feeling Of Well-being!

I am a firm believer in a person’s ability to choose to be happy.  I recently read a book by Dr. Martin Seligman, a University of Pennsylvania psychology professor, titled, “Flourish: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-Being.”  Dr. Seligman suggests that well-being is more than just feeling happy: it is a feeling a contentment based on knowing your life is flourishing and has meaning. He suggests the following four exercises to increase your sense of well-being:

1. Be aware of your strengths. Write down a story about a time when you were your best. Think about what personal strengths you utilized: were you brave, honest, forgiving, a leader? Then think about how you can use your strengths more often in your life.  Dr. Seligman’s research revealed that people who knew, and used, their signature strengths had higher life satisfaction.

2. Find the good. Before you go to bed, take a moment to reflect on three things that went well that day – and why they happened. Make a decision to focus and attend to the good things in your life.

3. Express gratitude. Think about the people in your life who have been especially kind to you but that you may not have properly thanked. Call or email that person to let them know how much you appreciate their kindness. 

4. Respond intentionally. The next time someone you care about shares good news, actively and intentionally respond. Instead of a passive response like, “That’s great,” express genuine excitement and ask follow-up questions. Dr. Seligman suggests that good relationships and true engagement actively cultivate a person’s well being. Give these exercises a chance, an increased sense of well-being will be yours!

If you would like to talk about ways you can feel more content in your role as a parent, I am here to help! Please give me a call at 310-849-6751 or send me an email at jerirochman.jd.ms@gmail.com

All my best,                                                                                                                                                                 Jeri

 

 

5 Tips To Help Your Child or Teen To Develop Resilience

Children and teens – and lets be honest, adults too – need to be resilient.  We all need to develop strengths and acquire skills to cope with  life’s daily challenges, to bounce back from set-backs, and to prepare for future challenges. The following are 5 strategies to teach your child or teen to develop resilience.

1. One major obstacle to forming resilience is negativity. Negative thinking tends to make people look badly at people, actions and behaviors as well as attracting negative experiences. Teach your child to focus on the positive. Find the good in situations. After school, ask your child or teen to tell you the good things that happened during the day before discussing anything negative. 

2. Teach flexibility. Children and teens who are flexible adjust well to different ideas and changing situations. Teach your children to try different foods, listen to different kinds of music, experience different cultures, different social groups and different hobbies.

3. Teach responsibility. When your child or teem blames someone else or circumstances for a poor outcome, help your child or teen to understand that he or she gives another person or circumstance power over their life. Ask, “What can you do to feel better?” and “What can you learn from this?”

4. Tell your child or teen that there is always a choice. In every situation, a person has a choice about what to do, how to respond, and how to feel. For example, after a poor test grade, a person can feel sad and give up or, instead, get support and work on learning the materials while aiming for success.

5. Having a purpose is an important factor of resilience. The easiest way to explain purpose is to talk about the big picture, the big world, about considering others and about making a difference. Encourage your child to give their time for the greater good of society. Children can help by volunteering their time or skill to what they consider a good cause and use the resulting good feelings as their reward.

If you would like to learn more about teaching your child or teen about resilience,  I am here to help! Please give me a call at 310-849-6751 or send me an email at jerirochman.jd.ms@gmail.com

All my best,                                                                                                                                                                   Jeri 

Need a little pep talk?

February can be such a dreary month, filled with gray and rainy days. The storm this weekend truly made things worse; my home was without power for the past three days. When the power was restored this morning, I was filled with such joy and relief. I will never take a hot shower again without feeling profoundly grateful!

I am a lover of motivational quotes and I find that a good quote can provide the pep talk I need to stay positive. A few of my favorites that got me through this weekend:

Inhale courage, exhale fear.

Staying positive doesn’t mean things will turn out ok. Rather, it means that you will be ok no matter how things turn out.

Wherever you go, no matter the weather, always bring your own sunshine.

When something goes wrong, just yell “plot twist” and move on!

“Just believe in yourself. Even if you don’t, pretend you do and at some point you will” – Venus Williams

Life doesn’t get easier, you get stronger.

And the very best one:

Not to spoil the ending, but everything is going to be ok.

Soon it will be spring! If you are feeling the February doldrums, let’s talk! Please give me a call at 310-849-6751 or send me an email at jerirochman.jd.ms@gmail.com.

All my best,                                                                                                                                                              Jeri

 

 

 

Hello and Welcome!

Thank you for visiting! If you are a parent, then you probably have worried about your child’s growth and development at some point since your child’s birth – it comes with the territory. Perhaps you are worried about whether your child may learn differently or maybe you have just received the results of an assessment that have confirmed a learning difference. Or perhaps your child is behaving in a manner that is bewildering or frustrating for you. Lets face it: parenting is rewarding and wonderful but it is also an emotional and confusing experience! My hope is that I can offer you information, support, guidance and comfort.  

My first suggestion: follow the wise words of Theodore Roosevelt when he said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Comparing your life, your family, your child or whatever else, will only prevent you from seeing all the wonder in your own life.

Your child is incredible – love and enjoy him or her, exactly as he or she is!

If you are would like to talk about the challenges of parenting, I am here to help. Please give me a call at 310-849-6751 or send me an email at jerirochman.jd.ms@gmail.com

All the best,                                                                                                                                                                     Jeri